[Off Topic] The Funny ATC Thread

[Runs with sisscors]

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"

Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

[Runs with sisscors]

here somethin from the gripe sheet at quantas. P=problem S=solution


P: Noise coming from under the instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from the midget.



Post Edited ( 10-31-07 01:30 )

[Runs with sisscors]

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seats in
economy and then looks into the forward cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much
larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty seat in first class.

The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her the seat is in economy. The blonde replies, "I'm young
and beautiful, and have never had this problem before. I'm going to sit here all the way, until we get to New York."
Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the Captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and
tells the woman that her assigned seat is in economy. Again, the blonde replies, in exactly the same way.

The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde problem with the Co-pilot.
The Co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly
whispers something in the blonde's ear. She immediately gets up, says "Thank you so much, now I understand". She hugs the
Co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the economy section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt
attention, asked  the Co-pilot what he had said to the woman. He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't
going to New York."  

[doggie015]

an oldie but a goodie

[R Groszewski]

Heard on Guard (121.5)

"Attention all aircraft-Urine dumping in progress over KGYY at 2,500 by Cessna 172 heading 30."

A minute or two later: "Attention all aircraft-urine dumping by Cessna 172-TERMINATED."

I laughed so hard at that transmission that I about fell over from laughing.

[doggie015]

that's a LOT of Urine

[Urwumpe]

doggie015 a écrit:
that's a LOT of Urine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cessna_172

Look at this plane and then think about the following aspect: Where is the toilet?

Blackbird: Request clearance for Flight Level 60
ATC: If you can get this high, you are cleared.
Blackbird: Roger, descending to Flight Level 60.

(The SR-71 Blackbird reaches 90,000 ft altitude at Mach 3...)

[doggie015]

it could have been a fuel dump and the fuel was mistaken for urine, but no fuel dumping avaluable

[Runs with sisscors]

lol..... cheese maybe?   but i could be mistaken

[doggie015]

Urwumpe wrote:

doggie015 a écrit:
that's a LOT of Urine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cessna_172

Look at this plane and then think about the following aspect: Where is the toilet?

Blackbird: Request clearance for Flight Level 60
ATC: If you can get this high, you are cleared.
Blackbird: Roger, descending to Flight Level 60.

(The SR-71 Blackbird reaches 90,000 ft altitude at Mach 3...)

sorry to spoil it, but shouldn't it be Flight Level
600, Flight level 60 = 6,000 ft, Flight level 600 = 60,000 ft

[Urwumpe]

Ooops, you are right, i thought flight levels are limited to 1000 ft steps, but thats not correct.

[n122vu]

Flight Level 60 would never be requested (or at least should not be approved by ATC), as Flight Level designations
are based on standardized pressure, which, if I'm not mistaken, in the world of general and commercial aviation,
begins at 18,000 feet above MSL, making FL180 the lowest viable Flight Level available for request.*  (Real-world
aviators - if my information is mistaken, please correct me).  



*Disclaimer:  All of my information posted about aviation comes from either my experience with Microsoft Flight
Simulator or from research conducted on the Internet, and is not for use in real-world situations.